Tears

6-6-10

Some people say that crying is a sign of weakness, but I don’t believe that.  I believe being afraid to cry shows a greater weakness.  Not letting people in and showing that you are human is a greater weakness.

I don’t cry.  Okay, that’s not true.  I do, but not for the right things.  I’ll cry when I get the wrong order at McDonald’s when I’m already feeling depressed about something.  I’ll cry when I get into a fight with my uncle at work over limes or how to cook a burger.  But when things really hit me hard, I suck it all back and hold it in.  I need to be strong for those around me.  It’s exhausting and emotionally draining really, and I’m not sure it does one bit of good.

Kelsey’s not afraid to show her emotion.  She’ll be the first to cry at a sad movie or while listening to a new sad song.  She’s also very sensitive to other people’s emotions.  If she sees someone cry, she’ll start up.  I envy the ability to show that kind of emotions around others.

This has been a tough week.  Tuesday, my roommate lost her mother.  The funeral was today.  I didn’t cry.  Sometimes I wonder if she thinks I don’t care, but the truth is I do.  It’s hard to imagine what it must be like to loose both parents in such a short time period, and like I said in my last post I can’t understand what that’s like.  But I can definitely be there for my friend.

During the funeral procession, Hawrelok got a text saying that someone we went to school with died as well.  He was involved with the theatre and we had talked on more then one occasion.  True, we did not talk very often, but it still hit me kind of hard.  My thoughts go out to both these families.  I hope they can find strength and comfort during these tragic times.