Real World

2-21-10

I take the plunge into the real world this week.  I’m dropping out tomorrow.  That’s a promise.  I can’t keep avoiding it any longer.  I’ve been avoiding heading over to Northland just because I don’t want to feel like a failure.  I have a list of excuses for why I’m dropping out if anyone is interested.

1. I need to get things together.
2.  School has never been for me… not since middle school.
3.  My major is/was liberal arts.  What good is that going to do me?
4.  I really messed up this semester by not caring.  I’m getting lazy.

Maybe if I come up with a reason for school, I’ll go back.  Maybe once I figure out exactly what I want to do in life I’ll go back.  How many people say that?  I don’t even know what I want to do.  Right now the plan is to work at Dairy Queen for a while.

I start full time on Thursday I think.  Thirty-five or more hours a week sounds scary, especially with all the things going on there right now.  I guess it’s not technically full time.  It is for DQ though.  Should be an interesting adventure.  Although, it can’t be any different that going to school and working part time, which I did do last year.

So I will soon enter a scary world of being on my own.  My mother’s insurance won’t cover me any more so I will have to pay for all of my insulin myself.  That’s about four hundred dollars every three months or so… not too bad really.  Well, on the bright side I won’t have to worry about tuition anymore.  I have no idea how much my inhaler will be, but I don’t use that very often.  Only for tuba playing and when I clean the bathroom or have to change Twink’s bedding.  I’m allergic to it, I think.

I feel like I’m too old to wonder what I want to do with my life.  If I ever figure it out, I hope it goes well.  I’ve said before that I’d like to write, but I’ve also said that I have issues with writing for an audience.  Well, if I wasn’t such a slacker, I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.  But I guess I don’t really feel bad about dropping out.  It just wasn’t the path for me at this point.  I wish I could have managed to push through the semester or maybe have realized this before the semester started, but I don’t think me not being in school is actually a bad thing.