Diabetes... is Stupid.

5-19-09

At this moment I am avoiding going to my doctor’s appointment.  I will go… eventually.  It’s at one o’clock.  I hate doctor appointments.  Why?  Because I don’t quite take care of myself like I should.  I’m diabetic and I don’t test my blood sugar regularly.  I do take insulin all the time though, every time I eat and then one shot at night.  It gets kind of annoying.  When I was in eighth grade I really hated it.

Being diagnosed with something like diabetes durning puberty is not fun.  When I was younger I was a huge drama queen that didn’t need to listen to anyone.  Needless to say, I went through a period where I didn’t take insulin.  I cried every night that no one understood me and about how horribly devastating it was that I couldn’t eat whatever I wanted.  Thank god I got over myself!

Now, I just have a problem with the appointments.  There’s too many of them, and I’m sick and tired of getting my blood drawn.  Once every three months?  Come on, that’s just ridiculous.  And not only that, but the same thing gets said every time.  How many times can I pay someone to tell me I should test my blood sugar and this is what diabetes is and all that other junk.  But then again, there was a small problem with there being too much protein in my urine… too much info, I know.  And okay, that’s a big problem… or it could develop into one I guess.  It’s not that I’m defiant or anything.  It’s just remembered to grab my glucometer before I leave the house or to test it before I eat.

I want to get an insulin pump, but I really don’t think that’s going to happen.  One, I don’t think I can afford it.  They’re expensive.  I tried to look it up on the internet the exact cost, but couldn’t really find it.  I think they’re like five thousand dollars though.  Then the insulin for them is more expensive than the pens I’m using now.  The second reason is, I’m just not organized enough for one.  So much work needs to be put in for the insurance companies and everything, and then if I get a pump I would need to test my blood sugar all the time for sure… maybe I could manage.  I think I’ll schedule an appointment with my educator today.  I would love to have a pump.  It could be purple, and then I could feel like a cyborg.  That’s just what I think I’d feel like, hooked up to a machine and everything for survival and to function properly.  Anyway, I should really get going so I’m not late.