Here's a list of books I want to own at some point in my life. The title for this blog was originally "101 Books I Wished I Owned," but I couldn't come up with enough of them. I suppose if I were to walk through a book store of library I could come up with pletenty though. I dream of having a room dedicated soely to books sometime in the future, maybe even a couple I've written. Anyway, some of these books I've owned at one time but lost. Others have been eaten by dogs, but most I've never owned. Some I haven't even read.
1. One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest
2. Tom Saywer
3. Huck Fynn
4. The Complete Works of Emily Dikenson
5. Boy Meets Boy
6. Marley and Me
7. Mocking Jay
8. The Uncanny X-men #266
9. Blueberries for Sal
10. Peter Pan
11. Wizard of Oz
12. Patchwork Girl of Oz
13. Idiot: Beating the Curse and Enjoying the Game of Life
14. Letter from Beatrice
15. Mein Kampf
16. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
17. The Outsiders
18. Where the Red Fern Grows
19. Q & A
20. Gone with the Wind
21. Wurthering Heights
22. Eats, Shoots, and Leaves
23. Assholes Finish First
24. The Hounds of Baskerville
25. The Count of Monte Cristo
26. One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish
27. Falling Up
28. A Light in the Attick
29. The Picture of Dorian Gray
30. Les Miserables
31. Gandhi An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments with Truth
32. The Lovely Bones
33. My Sister's Keeper
34. Let it Snow: Three Holiday Romances
35. Geektastic: Stories from the Nerd Herd
36. A Christmas Carol
37. Diary of Anne Frank
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Words
I want to write about my blog title for a bit- words. I believe in the power words, and I think they're more powerful than some realize. I mean, words can do so much more than simply communicate. They can hurt, move, pursuad, confuse, inform, inspire, and comfort. They can create an angry mob. They can rip deeply into a person's heart if said with anger. A poet who finds the right words can bring a reader to tears. I can't possibly count the ammount of times I've cried at a sad moment in a good book. Sometimes we can't seem to find the right words. Like when one has to explain to their boss why they were late for three days in a row or even telling the guy who sits next to you in Spainish class that you'd like to go to a movie or something later.
I often think about the marvel of language and how lost the human species would be without it. It's so easy to share our thoughts and feelings because of language. How else would we do it though? There was a time before language existed, and I can't even imagine. I mean, I think in words. My brain thinks out complete setences like, Today I need to go to the store, or Why the heck did I do that? That was stupid. What do people who've never known language think in? Pictures? I'd assume but I guess there's no real way to know for sure.
I did a project for art class one time. It was a bunch of words written on a piece of paper. Most of them were random words that popped in my head. And then on top them with black paint I wrote the words, "JUST WORDS." I was trying to say that words don't matter out of context. That a radom word on a piece of paper, taken out of a sentence, is just a bunch of random symbols from the alphabet put together to form syllables. But I don't believe in that anymore. A single word can inspire so much. What comes to mind when you see the word "rose"? Do you just hear the sounds the letters make? More than likely not. I for one picture a rose in my head and then my brain goes to valentine's day and romance. It's all about the connotation.
I love words. I love putting them together to tell stories, to poetically describe a sunset or wilting flowers. To quote George Carlin, "They're my work. They're my play. They're my passion." And maybe they're not my work, not yet at least. But they definitely are my play and my passion. I keep myself entertained with word- talking with others, laughing at actors in a movie creatively spewing out words, creating. I keep myself sane with words- journal out the thoughts in my head that keep bumping into each other and clouding my thoughts. And I think they are my passion, as close I've got to true passion anyway.
I often think about the marvel of language and how lost the human species would be without it. It's so easy to share our thoughts and feelings because of language. How else would we do it though? There was a time before language existed, and I can't even imagine. I mean, I think in words. My brain thinks out complete setences like, Today I need to go to the store, or Why the heck did I do that? That was stupid. What do people who've never known language think in? Pictures? I'd assume but I guess there's no real way to know for sure.
I did a project for art class one time. It was a bunch of words written on a piece of paper. Most of them were random words that popped in my head. And then on top them with black paint I wrote the words, "JUST WORDS." I was trying to say that words don't matter out of context. That a radom word on a piece of paper, taken out of a sentence, is just a bunch of random symbols from the alphabet put together to form syllables. But I don't believe in that anymore. A single word can inspire so much. What comes to mind when you see the word "rose"? Do you just hear the sounds the letters make? More than likely not. I for one picture a rose in my head and then my brain goes to valentine's day and romance. It's all about the connotation.
I love words. I love putting them together to tell stories, to poetically describe a sunset or wilting flowers. To quote George Carlin, "They're my work. They're my play. They're my passion." And maybe they're not my work, not yet at least. But they definitely are my play and my passion. I keep myself entertained with word- talking with others, laughing at actors in a movie creatively spewing out words, creating. I keep myself sane with words- journal out the thoughts in my head that keep bumping into each other and clouding my thoughts. And I think they are my passion, as close I've got to true passion anyway.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Wonders of Technology Bringing a Family Together
I have what most would consider an untraditional family. As you probably already know, it was just my mom and I living together throughout most of my childhood. My dad's lives in New York with his wife, Kathy, and my two younger brothers, Eric and Jon. I also have a brother named Steaven and a sister named Sarah. I've never met Sarah, but I'd like to some day. This year for Christmas I'm making all my siblings something so I'd definitely like to get in touch with her to include her in that. All of my siblings are my dad's kids so I get to be both an only child and the second oldest of five at the same time.
I don't know too much about my dad's side of the family. I don't think I've ever even met most of them, at least not in recent memory like after I was two or something. I'm pretty sure I've met both my dad's parents, and one of his grandparents. I have one aunt and three uncles on his side, but I've never met any of them to my knowledge. I could have been around them when I was a baby or something.
Anyway, I love technology. With the use of facebook, video chat, and cell phones I am getting to know my siblings a lot better. Turns out we're a whole family of geeks. They're more of the computer, video game nerdy type though. I'm more of a comic book band geek sorta person. But yeah... I love technology. I'm able to chat with my brothers who live half way across the country. I got to see my sister-in-law and nephew over a video chat the other day too. Steaven Jr.'s getting pretty big. He's so cute and chubby! I love babies. It's so nice to catch up with people that I feel so disconnected from. I hope to get together and see all of them soon.
I don't know too much about my dad's side of the family. I don't think I've ever even met most of them, at least not in recent memory like after I was two or something. I'm pretty sure I've met both my dad's parents, and one of his grandparents. I have one aunt and three uncles on his side, but I've never met any of them to my knowledge. I could have been around them when I was a baby or something.
Anyway, I love technology. With the use of facebook, video chat, and cell phones I am getting to know my siblings a lot better. Turns out we're a whole family of geeks. They're more of the computer, video game nerdy type though. I'm more of a comic book band geek sorta person. But yeah... I love technology. I'm able to chat with my brothers who live half way across the country. I got to see my sister-in-law and nephew over a video chat the other day too. Steaven Jr.'s getting pretty big. He's so cute and chubby! I love babies. It's so nice to catch up with people that I feel so disconnected from. I hope to get together and see all of them soon.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
As Good as it Gets
Okay, so I'm going to be completly honest and open with all you readers for this post. I just got out of the psychiatric unit of Altru. Long story shot, some depression and anxiety built up until I exploded. I don't want to go into too many details because as you can imagine it's sort of personal. I'm better now though... for now, but I think I just needed a break to sort things out. I'm making some new decissions about my life- like getting a new apartment. I want to get away from everything and start over- maybe go to school for that English major I keep talking about.
As with any hospital stay, I have some complaints about the ridiculousness of Altru. For starters, it's hard to get things like you need. Take my insulin for example. On three different occasions it took over an hour to get insulin after I ate. It's almost impossible to get anything like that at nine o'clock because that's when the kids in the other ward have to go to bed and they scream all the time- I WANT MY BLANKIE! I WANT MY MOMMY! I WANT TO GO HOME! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED... There was one particular boy in particular that threw a fit everyday. We could hear doors slamming and the wall was shaking as he beat against it. Then all the nurses were trained in differently so one nurse would tell you something was okay, and then the next nurse would tell you that you can't do that. So you were always confused at what was going on.
I also think some of their rules were a little effed up. For example, I wasn't allowed to have a spiral notebook, but real knives at meals were okay. Then we were told we had to go to group, but no one enforced it. So a lot of the majorly depressed people just layed in bed all day. That's not good for someone in that kind of condition. They should be up and doing things, at least going to the therapy groups. I also hate how the Psyciatrists solution to everything is get the patients some more drugs. For the most part it helped a lot. It was so nice to talk to other people who understand- not the therapists but the patients. They don't question why I feel the way I do, because a lot of them have been there.
There were two things that I know I will always remember from this experience. The first one was an assertiveness video we watched. The acting was just horrible. My favorite part was this guy who was supposed to be acting agressively. A co-worker asked him if he wanted to go to a bar just after he got out of treatment. His reaction was hilarious. He threw down a folder on the desk and, as mono-tone and stone faced as ever, said, "What's your damn problem?" It struck me as funny, and I couldn't stop giggling about it for a while.
Now, the best part of my stay were the movies that happened to be on FX while I was there. They were As Good as it Gets, Me, Myself, and Irene, and Anger Management. So here we all in a mental institution watching crazy people movies. There's so much irony in that. It's hilarious. Another one of the patients there got as big of a kick out of it as I did. Not only that but a commercial kept playing for Forgetting Sarah Marshal and the commercial just had the guy singing, "Go see a psyciatrist. I hate the psyciatrist. Well go see one anyway. I don't like the psyciatrist. You need to go see one. See a psyciatrist. I'm not going." So funny, but really As Good as it Gets kinda got to me. There's a part where he's in a doctors office and he says to all the patients in the waiting room, "What if this is as good as it gets?" Good point. I don't think life gets any better, and I really don't think that matters. It just is what it is.
As with any hospital stay, I have some complaints about the ridiculousness of Altru. For starters, it's hard to get things like you need. Take my insulin for example. On three different occasions it took over an hour to get insulin after I ate. It's almost impossible to get anything like that at nine o'clock because that's when the kids in the other ward have to go to bed and they scream all the time- I WANT MY BLANKIE! I WANT MY MOMMY! I WANT TO GO HOME! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED... There was one particular boy in particular that threw a fit everyday. We could hear doors slamming and the wall was shaking as he beat against it. Then all the nurses were trained in differently so one nurse would tell you something was okay, and then the next nurse would tell you that you can't do that. So you were always confused at what was going on.
I also think some of their rules were a little effed up. For example, I wasn't allowed to have a spiral notebook, but real knives at meals were okay. Then we were told we had to go to group, but no one enforced it. So a lot of the majorly depressed people just layed in bed all day. That's not good for someone in that kind of condition. They should be up and doing things, at least going to the therapy groups. I also hate how the Psyciatrists solution to everything is get the patients some more drugs. For the most part it helped a lot. It was so nice to talk to other people who understand- not the therapists but the patients. They don't question why I feel the way I do, because a lot of them have been there.
There were two things that I know I will always remember from this experience. The first one was an assertiveness video we watched. The acting was just horrible. My favorite part was this guy who was supposed to be acting agressively. A co-worker asked him if he wanted to go to a bar just after he got out of treatment. His reaction was hilarious. He threw down a folder on the desk and, as mono-tone and stone faced as ever, said, "What's your damn problem?" It struck me as funny, and I couldn't stop giggling about it for a while.
Now, the best part of my stay were the movies that happened to be on FX while I was there. They were As Good as it Gets, Me, Myself, and Irene, and Anger Management. So here we all in a mental institution watching crazy people movies. There's so much irony in that. It's hilarious. Another one of the patients there got as big of a kick out of it as I did. Not only that but a commercial kept playing for Forgetting Sarah Marshal and the commercial just had the guy singing, "Go see a psyciatrist. I hate the psyciatrist. Well go see one anyway. I don't like the psyciatrist. You need to go see one. See a psyciatrist. I'm not going." So funny, but really As Good as it Gets kinda got to me. There's a part where he's in a doctors office and he says to all the patients in the waiting room, "What if this is as good as it gets?" Good point. I don't think life gets any better, and I really don't think that matters. It just is what it is.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The World's Greatest Invention is the Grandparent
Grandparent's are amazing aren't they? Well, mine are at least. I mean, they've babysat me when I was little a whole ton and I was kind of a brat. They've given me so much over the years- food, a ton of awesome Christmas presents, gas, money just for the heck of it, musical tickets, printer paper, scotch tape, scrap fabric... And then so much more than that, like all the cheesy stuff you can't hold and touch like love and junk. And I can't even count the amount of times I've gone over there saying, "Grandma, can you feed me?" Of course they always do.
The other day my car ran out of gas just in time to be late for work. I called my papa from a near by school and asked if he could bring me some gas. I thought he was going to be really crabby about it because he's German and can just get that way sometimes. But he just goes, "Well you can't drive a car without gas, Ashley." It made me laugh. I waited in my car until he came to the rescue with his gas can. After we got some gas in it so I could get to work. He asked me if I had money. I never have money, so he gave me twenty bucks, which I put in my tank after I was done with work.
I love them. They give so much of their time to help me with the little things. Like let's say I need a pair of pants fixed up for work and I need them in ten minutes. My grandma will take them down to her basement and sew patches on some jeans so I look like a hippie for sixties day. If I'm stranded somewhere and need a ride and no one else is available, my papa will come get me. I'm writing this to let you know how much I appreciate you and all that you've done. I am so grateful and I love you both so much. Thanks for always being there when I need you.
The other day my car ran out of gas just in time to be late for work. I called my papa from a near by school and asked if he could bring me some gas. I thought he was going to be really crabby about it because he's German and can just get that way sometimes. But he just goes, "Well you can't drive a car without gas, Ashley." It made me laugh. I waited in my car until he came to the rescue with his gas can. After we got some gas in it so I could get to work. He asked me if I had money. I never have money, so he gave me twenty bucks, which I put in my tank after I was done with work.
I love them. They give so much of their time to help me with the little things. Like let's say I need a pair of pants fixed up for work and I need them in ten minutes. My grandma will take them down to her basement and sew patches on some jeans so I look like a hippie for sixties day. If I'm stranded somewhere and need a ride and no one else is available, my papa will come get me. I'm writing this to let you know how much I appreciate you and all that you've done. I am so grateful and I love you both so much. Thanks for always being there when I need you.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Halloween is Drawing Near
I'm getting so excited for Halloween! You have no idea. There's just something about not being yourself for a little while that's so awesome. I mean, I'll get to go over to my mom's house and watch horror movies all the time on television now that it's October. This year I'm not too sure what I'm doing for Halloween. We might throw a party at the apartment. Not too sure if I'm going to go to Rocky Horror or not this year. We'll have to see.
I have a bunch of great Halloween memories. Rocky Horror with Michael is among the favorites. But then of course there's one of me answering the door at my grandparents house when I was seven because I wanted to give candy to the trick or treaters. Unfortunately when I opened the door and saw some kids in their costume I cried and ran to my mom. I'm not too sure what I was expecting. I remember trick or treating until pretty late in the night. Now everyone's inside by sunset or else at the Alerus. That's lame. One year Jade, Wyatt, and I all went as people from Star Wars. My favorite costume so far has got to be last years- Poison Ivy from Batman. But I also like the witch hooker thing I did with Kelsey. Alex was our "dead pimp."
Kailin went out and bought a whole bunch of Halloween makeup and we took turns making each other look completely dead. I'm look like a zombie who seriously got her ass kicked in battle. I wrote a horror script not too long ago about a bunch of kids who go on a trip and eventually end up getting killed by a dead guy who had his eyes gorged out. That's what I was going for with Kailin's look.
Aren't we just gorgeous? It was a lot of fun though. A great bonding experience for the two of us. We talked, tried not to laugh, and twitched as cue tips tickled our cheeks. I love Halloween so much. It has to be my favorite holiday besides April Fool's day. Now, you could argue that there's no holiday on April 1st, but I disagree. Anyway, I can't wait for October 31!!!
I have a bunch of great Halloween memories. Rocky Horror with Michael is among the favorites. But then of course there's one of me answering the door at my grandparents house when I was seven because I wanted to give candy to the trick or treaters. Unfortunately when I opened the door and saw some kids in their costume I cried and ran to my mom. I'm not too sure what I was expecting. I remember trick or treating until pretty late in the night. Now everyone's inside by sunset or else at the Alerus. That's lame. One year Jade, Wyatt, and I all went as people from Star Wars. My favorite costume so far has got to be last years- Poison Ivy from Batman. But I also like the witch hooker thing I did with Kelsey. Alex was our "dead pimp."
Kailin went out and bought a whole bunch of Halloween makeup and we took turns making each other look completely dead. I'm look like a zombie who seriously got her ass kicked in battle. I wrote a horror script not too long ago about a bunch of kids who go on a trip and eventually end up getting killed by a dead guy who had his eyes gorged out. That's what I was going for with Kailin's look.
Aren't we just gorgeous? It was a lot of fun though. A great bonding experience for the two of us. We talked, tried not to laugh, and twitched as cue tips tickled our cheeks. I love Halloween so much. It has to be my favorite holiday besides April Fool's day. Now, you could argue that there's no holiday on April 1st, but I disagree. Anyway, I can't wait for October 31!!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
My Babysitting Adventure
I got to babysit Melody today. She's the one that I wrote about being born in August. Oh my gosh is she adorable, even when she won't stop crying. It was only for a little while so her mom could go to an dentist appointment. Apparently I'm Melody's first babysitter outside of the family. I feel honored. In fact, I was actually pretty excited to get to be someone's first babysitter.
Once her mom left, I took her out of her seat and let her kick lying on her blanket on the floor. It was the blanket I made for her. Now, I don't know too much about babies and their development, but I think she can kick pretty darn well for only being two months old.
Poor Penny. She wasn't sure what to think. I mean, she'd never seen a baby before. At first she started growling and barking a bit, but then I let her sniff Melody a little bit. I was very careful to make sure Penny didn't hurt her, and Melody didn't seem to mind... until Penny gave her a kiss on the cheek. That's when she stopped crying and wouldn't stop.
So I picked Melody up off the floor and started lightly bouncing as I walked around the room. She pretty much screamed the whole time with little breaks in between. She was sucking on her hand, and it seemed like she was hungry. But I could not get her to take her bottle. I found out that she likes it better when you hold her upright instead of laying down in the crook of your arm. Finally her mom came home, and she got her to eat.
Even though she cried the whole time, I can't wait to do it again. I mean, babies cry all the time. Penny's a cure for my baby fever, but being around Meldoy made it slightly flair up again. I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that now is just not the right time for me. I'm not capable of handling a baby on my own right now, but definitly some day.
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