Okay, so I'm going to be completly honest and open with all you readers for this post. I just got out of the psychiatric unit of Altru. Long story shot, some depression and anxiety built up until I exploded. I don't want to go into too many details because as you can imagine it's sort of personal. I'm better now though... for now, but I think I just needed a break to sort things out. I'm making some new decissions about my life- like getting a new apartment. I want to get away from everything and start over- maybe go to school for that English major I keep talking about.
As with any hospital stay, I have some complaints about the ridiculousness of Altru. For starters, it's hard to get things like you need. Take my insulin for example. On three different occasions it took over an hour to get insulin after I ate. It's almost impossible to get anything like that at nine o'clock because that's when the kids in the other ward have to go to bed and they scream all the time- I WANT MY BLANKIE! I WANT MY MOMMY! I WANT TO GO HOME! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED... There was one particular boy in particular that threw a fit everyday. We could hear doors slamming and the wall was shaking as he beat against it. Then all the nurses were trained in differently so one nurse would tell you something was okay, and then the next nurse would tell you that you can't do that. So you were always confused at what was going on.
I also think some of their rules were a little effed up. For example, I wasn't allowed to have a spiral notebook, but real knives at meals were okay. Then we were told we had to go to group, but no one enforced it. So a lot of the majorly depressed people just layed in bed all day. That's not good for someone in that kind of condition. They should be up and doing things, at least going to the therapy groups. I also hate how the Psyciatrists solution to everything is get the patients some more drugs. For the most part it helped a lot. It was so nice to talk to other people who understand- not the therapists but the patients. They don't question why I feel the way I do, because a lot of them have been there.
There were two things that I know I will always remember from this experience. The first one was an assertiveness video we watched. The acting was just horrible. My favorite part was this guy who was supposed to be acting agressively. A co-worker asked him if he wanted to go to a bar just after he got out of treatment. His reaction was hilarious. He threw down a folder on the desk and, as mono-tone and stone faced as ever, said, "What's your damn problem?" It struck me as funny, and I couldn't stop giggling about it for a while.
Now, the best part of my stay were the movies that happened to be on FX while I was there. They were As Good as it Gets, Me, Myself, and Irene, and Anger Management. So here we all in a mental institution watching crazy people movies. There's so much irony in that. It's hilarious. Another one of the patients there got as big of a kick out of it as I did. Not only that but a commercial kept playing for Forgetting Sarah Marshal and the commercial just had the guy singing, "Go see a psyciatrist. I hate the psyciatrist. Well go see one anyway. I don't like the psyciatrist. You need to go see one. See a psyciatrist. I'm not going." So funny, but really As Good as it Gets kinda got to me. There's a part where he's in a doctors office and he says to all the patients in the waiting room, "What if this is as good as it gets?" Good point. I don't think life gets any better, and I really don't think that matters. It just is what it is.
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