Dear 12 Year Old Ashley,
I'd like to start off by writing that I have never really done this before, which is surprising. You'd think I would have written a letter to myself a long time ago. Alright so here it goes.
You're awkward right now, and I can totally sympathize with that because middle school sucks. But one thing that will really help is to stop trying to be someone you're not. You are a geek. We both know that, and the sooner you embrace that, the sooner you will be free. Stop trying to talk to the "cool kids" about brand names and what have you because let's face it, you have no idea what you're talking about. You are a tuba playing, comic book loving, fiction writing, book reading, musical singing geek. Speaking of tuba playing, have you switched to the tuba yet? If so, drop the flute now and make the switch. The tuba is so much more cool, and you'll have so much more fun.
Also, I know you'll be shy and not want to sing in your musical, but don't give up your frog solo. Seriously, you're not that terrible of a singer. It's not like you're going to make someone's ears bleed or anything. Just do your best and have fun. And you could always consider doing tech for your middle school shows. You'll end up doing the video for shows in your high school anyway, which is a lot of fun even though can be stressful if you care too much. Another thing you can do is be in SPA more. It's a great way to make friends and by the end you'll wish you'd done more than two years.
Don't date your friends. It causes way too much drama, especially if he's your best friend. In high school a lot of things will happen to you that will seem like the end of the world, but I promise as you mature this need for everything to be dramatic dies... slightly. Speaking of making everything dramatic, don't worry about bullies and bitchy girls. They're pointless and pathetic. Your life will be so much better once you get over them.
I don't know if you've gone through your running stage yet, but try to keep that up. You'll probably just get bored with it though and it will seem like too much work. But it really is a great way to get in shape and relieve stress. Also, focus a bit more on your school work... because otherwise you'll never get into the habit of doing homework and then drop out of college. Write a lot more too. Get into the habit of carrying a journal around with you. When you get the idea to write the play Babbling Nonsense, it will be they dumbest thing you'll ever write. Write it anyway because you'll laugh a lot about it later.
Treasure your friends. By the way, in a few years Kailin- you know Chelsea's friend- and you will be really close friends. I'd get to know her now though because she's amazing. Also, some girls will do this weird thing where they will all wear the same color each day. Don't try to do it with them. I hate to break it to you, but you're really not one of them.
Some last minute things to avoid embarrassment include ALWAYS check your shoes for toilet paper before leaving the bathroom. If you feel like you need to pee, go to the bathroom right away instead of standing in the hallway trying to open your locker even though you've forgotten the combination. A really good line to use during your most embarrassing moment would be, "Oh yeah thanks guys, I really needed a tampon." But it really doesn't matter what you say because they'll laugh anyway. Also, relax around the guy you like. And finish the dancing the jitter bug with him at the sunrise dance instead of chasing after Vicky. Just remember that high school is so much better than middle school and you have so much fun with your life once you stop trying to be someone you're not. You're a geek so just accept it.
Sincerely,
Your 20 Year Old Self
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