So I hate small dog owners. And yes, having a Welsh Corgi that will only grow to about twenty-five pounds puts me in that category, but I realize that big dogs can be cute, loving, and friendly too. I took Penny and Blitzen to the dog park the other day. It was Penny's first time there. I've been waiting for her rabies shot to kick in so I could finally take her. The two of them had a lot of fun, until this idiot of a dog owner with two little grown dogs about the size of Penny came in.
He saw Blitzen and the first thing he did was pick up his dogs. Now at the dog park, Blitzen likes to-imagine this- play with the other dogs. He went over to say hi to this man's dogs and when he picked them up, Blitzen got really close to the man and started sniffing his dogs. That how dogs say hello, right? But then the man started spinning and turning so that Blitzen couldn't get to his dogs. What does Blitzen do? He jumps. Now, he doesn't jump on the man but he just jumps in the air next to the man. And Blitzen is a pretty big German Shepherd. I apologize and explain that he just wants to play with his dogs. The man says, "Well this one just got bit by a shepherd not too long ago so she's a bit nervous." I looked at the dog he was referring to. She didn't look nervous. Little dogs shake when they're nervous. Their tail goes between there legs. They hide behind their owners. This dogs ears were up, eye wide. Its tongue was hanging out of its mouth, which was giving one of those dog smiles. Its tail was up and wagging and if it could talk it would have said, "Put me down. I'm ready to play." Obviously the dog wasn't nervous, the owner was.
So Blitzen finally leaves this man and his dogs alone... for a while anyway. Eventually the man puts the dogs down and Blitzen runs right over to play. The dogs are just doing what dogs do. They're smelling each other and getting to know one another. No hackles are up. No teeth are showing. There's no growling. And there's no sign of any one getting bit. The man says, "Oh well he should be on a leash." I just rolled my eyes. Penny and Blitzen had been there for a while so I decided it would just be best if we just left. But it was taking me a while to catch Blitzen and in the mean time the man goes, "Well I think we're going to leave." And then they left. I took Blitzen and Penny home anyway.
Now I realize Blitzen is a big dog and can seem intimidating, but really he's just overly friendly. The only time I've ever really seen him flip out is when there is a cat sitting in his front yard and he sees them through the window or when Charlee nips at him from the safe location of under a chair. At the dog park, Blitzen runs around with the other dogs and if one of them gets aggressive he usually backs off. There have been a few times where he gets into a fights, but he's a dog and once you call him off he forgets about it and starts playing with someone else. My grandma says they're thinking about getting another dog park just for small dogs, which I think is a terrific idea. But until then, if you're afraid of big dogs don't bring your dogs to the park. It's a public dog park. More than likely there will be big dogs there.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
To Tuba or not to Tuba
Football season is here, and with that comes marching band. I'll be completely honest with you. This year I've been thinking about quitting the band. This is the first year I haven't been giving one hundred percent to the band. I barely have any of my music memorized... if any at all. I also barely know my sets, and I hate that. There seems to be too much going on this year. I don't know what that means though because I'm not doing anything. I have work and I have marching band. I would have no life without the band. I mean, I would. It's just my entire life would consist of Jimmy John's, which by the way I got a job at for those of you that don't know. It's going well.
Saturday was my first game since I mist the Potato bowl last week. And it reminded me why I love marching band. I love the feeling after a pregame or half time show. Of course, since I don't know my music for half time, I just got that feeling after pregame. It's the feeling of being completely out of breath from marching around while playing a tuba, but at the same time feeling accomplished at a job well done. I also love the feeling of jamming out in the stands even if it is to just "Short #3" or something. I love the feeling when the drum majors call out one of my favorite songs to play like "Pretty Fly" or "Tear the Roof of the Sucker." If you watch me closely in the stands, you can see my body sway to the music along with my right arm as I push down the valves.
I am a band geek through and through. Fall doesn't mean football season for me. It means marching band. I find it so much fun, but this year just isn't going right. I just don't seem to care as much. And I hate myself for not caring. I hate myself for not knowing the music. I hate myself for not going to practice and putting forth the effort. I was so sure I was going to quit, but then Saturday was so much fun, even though I didn't do nearly as well as I could have with the shows. Maybe if I talk to the director I can just do pregame or play in the stands, but I'm not sure if that will fly. The worst part is that if I don't do marching band, I can't do hockey band either. And I love that. For the record though, I like marching on the field better and I can't stand hockey. Women's hockey is an available option for me with the marching band though. I don't know what I'm going to do. Practice is tomorrow and I'm going to talk to my director. I need to decide soon though. This weekend the band is going to go to South Dakota for the game.
Saturday was my first game since I mist the Potato bowl last week. And it reminded me why I love marching band. I love the feeling after a pregame or half time show. Of course, since I don't know my music for half time, I just got that feeling after pregame. It's the feeling of being completely out of breath from marching around while playing a tuba, but at the same time feeling accomplished at a job well done. I also love the feeling of jamming out in the stands even if it is to just "Short #3" or something. I love the feeling when the drum majors call out one of my favorite songs to play like "Pretty Fly" or "Tear the Roof of the Sucker." If you watch me closely in the stands, you can see my body sway to the music along with my right arm as I push down the valves.
I am a band geek through and through. Fall doesn't mean football season for me. It means marching band. I find it so much fun, but this year just isn't going right. I just don't seem to care as much. And I hate myself for not caring. I hate myself for not knowing the music. I hate myself for not going to practice and putting forth the effort. I was so sure I was going to quit, but then Saturday was so much fun, even though I didn't do nearly as well as I could have with the shows. Maybe if I talk to the director I can just do pregame or play in the stands, but I'm not sure if that will fly. The worst part is that if I don't do marching band, I can't do hockey band either. And I love that. For the record though, I like marching on the field better and I can't stand hockey. Women's hockey is an available option for me with the marching band though. I don't know what I'm going to do. Practice is tomorrow and I'm going to talk to my director. I need to decide soon though. This weekend the band is going to go to South Dakota for the game.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Letter to Myself
Dear 12 Year Old Ashley,
I'd like to start off by writing that I have never really done this before, which is surprising. You'd think I would have written a letter to myself a long time ago. Alright so here it goes.
You're awkward right now, and I can totally sympathize with that because middle school sucks. But one thing that will really help is to stop trying to be someone you're not. You are a geek. We both know that, and the sooner you embrace that, the sooner you will be free. Stop trying to talk to the "cool kids" about brand names and what have you because let's face it, you have no idea what you're talking about. You are a tuba playing, comic book loving, fiction writing, book reading, musical singing geek. Speaking of tuba playing, have you switched to the tuba yet? If so, drop the flute now and make the switch. The tuba is so much more cool, and you'll have so much more fun.
Also, I know you'll be shy and not want to sing in your musical, but don't give up your frog solo. Seriously, you're not that terrible of a singer. It's not like you're going to make someone's ears bleed or anything. Just do your best and have fun. And you could always consider doing tech for your middle school shows. You'll end up doing the video for shows in your high school anyway, which is a lot of fun even though can be stressful if you care too much. Another thing you can do is be in SPA more. It's a great way to make friends and by the end you'll wish you'd done more than two years.
Don't date your friends. It causes way too much drama, especially if he's your best friend. In high school a lot of things will happen to you that will seem like the end of the world, but I promise as you mature this need for everything to be dramatic dies... slightly. Speaking of making everything dramatic, don't worry about bullies and bitchy girls. They're pointless and pathetic. Your life will be so much better once you get over them.
I don't know if you've gone through your running stage yet, but try to keep that up. You'll probably just get bored with it though and it will seem like too much work. But it really is a great way to get in shape and relieve stress. Also, focus a bit more on your school work... because otherwise you'll never get into the habit of doing homework and then drop out of college. Write a lot more too. Get into the habit of carrying a journal around with you. When you get the idea to write the play Babbling Nonsense, it will be they dumbest thing you'll ever write. Write it anyway because you'll laugh a lot about it later.
Treasure your friends. By the way, in a few years Kailin- you know Chelsea's friend- and you will be really close friends. I'd get to know her now though because she's amazing. Also, some girls will do this weird thing where they will all wear the same color each day. Don't try to do it with them. I hate to break it to you, but you're really not one of them.
Some last minute things to avoid embarrassment include ALWAYS check your shoes for toilet paper before leaving the bathroom. If you feel like you need to pee, go to the bathroom right away instead of standing in the hallway trying to open your locker even though you've forgotten the combination. A really good line to use during your most embarrassing moment would be, "Oh yeah thanks guys, I really needed a tampon." But it really doesn't matter what you say because they'll laugh anyway. Also, relax around the guy you like. And finish the dancing the jitter bug with him at the sunrise dance instead of chasing after Vicky. Just remember that high school is so much better than middle school and you have so much fun with your life once you stop trying to be someone you're not. You're a geek so just accept it.
Sincerely,
Your 20 Year Old Self
I'd like to start off by writing that I have never really done this before, which is surprising. You'd think I would have written a letter to myself a long time ago. Alright so here it goes.
You're awkward right now, and I can totally sympathize with that because middle school sucks. But one thing that will really help is to stop trying to be someone you're not. You are a geek. We both know that, and the sooner you embrace that, the sooner you will be free. Stop trying to talk to the "cool kids" about brand names and what have you because let's face it, you have no idea what you're talking about. You are a tuba playing, comic book loving, fiction writing, book reading, musical singing geek. Speaking of tuba playing, have you switched to the tuba yet? If so, drop the flute now and make the switch. The tuba is so much more cool, and you'll have so much more fun.
Also, I know you'll be shy and not want to sing in your musical, but don't give up your frog solo. Seriously, you're not that terrible of a singer. It's not like you're going to make someone's ears bleed or anything. Just do your best and have fun. And you could always consider doing tech for your middle school shows. You'll end up doing the video for shows in your high school anyway, which is a lot of fun even though can be stressful if you care too much. Another thing you can do is be in SPA more. It's a great way to make friends and by the end you'll wish you'd done more than two years.
Don't date your friends. It causes way too much drama, especially if he's your best friend. In high school a lot of things will happen to you that will seem like the end of the world, but I promise as you mature this need for everything to be dramatic dies... slightly. Speaking of making everything dramatic, don't worry about bullies and bitchy girls. They're pointless and pathetic. Your life will be so much better once you get over them.
I don't know if you've gone through your running stage yet, but try to keep that up. You'll probably just get bored with it though and it will seem like too much work. But it really is a great way to get in shape and relieve stress. Also, focus a bit more on your school work... because otherwise you'll never get into the habit of doing homework and then drop out of college. Write a lot more too. Get into the habit of carrying a journal around with you. When you get the idea to write the play Babbling Nonsense, it will be they dumbest thing you'll ever write. Write it anyway because you'll laugh a lot about it later.
Treasure your friends. By the way, in a few years Kailin- you know Chelsea's friend- and you will be really close friends. I'd get to know her now though because she's amazing. Also, some girls will do this weird thing where they will all wear the same color each day. Don't try to do it with them. I hate to break it to you, but you're really not one of them.
Some last minute things to avoid embarrassment include ALWAYS check your shoes for toilet paper before leaving the bathroom. If you feel like you need to pee, go to the bathroom right away instead of standing in the hallway trying to open your locker even though you've forgotten the combination. A really good line to use during your most embarrassing moment would be, "Oh yeah thanks guys, I really needed a tampon." But it really doesn't matter what you say because they'll laugh anyway. Also, relax around the guy you like. And finish the dancing the jitter bug with him at the sunrise dance instead of chasing after Vicky. Just remember that high school is so much better than middle school and you have so much fun with your life once you stop trying to be someone you're not. You're a geek so just accept it.
Sincerely,
Your 20 Year Old Self
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wilted
Forgotten flowers stand
wilted in the windowsill.
Alone.
Except for the gnats
endlessly circling around
Drooping brown pedals.
Yellowing stems sit
In algae infested water.
As sunlight glares off the crystal
glass vase.
Life snipped from
its roots only to
Decay before its time.
Brilliant pedals
crumbled to dust
Only a carcass of what
could have been.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Death
Blunt title I suppose. Anway... I took a Humanities class a year or so ago, and we were asked to decide if the class was about death or if it was about life. Now, this was when I started heading downhill and didn't really go to class all that much, so I missed a whole lot about what the class was actually about. But from what I managed to absorb, I decided life. I mean for the most part we talked about the different kinds of arts and the things humans do to make life more interesting. In a way, humanities is about death too. Artists do what they do because they love doing, but it is a way for us to remember them after they're gone as well. But mostly it is about life and what to do with it.
I recently read an amazing book by John Green titled Looking for Alaska. It made me laugh at the funny parts, and it also made me blink back tears. You could argue that this book was about the whole death/life concept, but once again I chose life. I think it was more about how the life still goes on for the living when a loved one dies. It's hard, but life still goes on. Grieving is good. Finding and having closure is important too. Without giving too much away, this book made me think... a lot. I thought about religion more than I have in a long time, particularly Buddhism. I wondered about if people's essence goes somewhere when it dies, or if we just rot in the ground. I asked my science teacher once if energy can't be created or destroyed, what happens when people die? He said that our bodies become food for maggots and whatever and so we turn into chemical energy. This book also explained that concept, but added to it. If energy can't be destroyed, neither can we. Our body will just take different forms and different shapes, but our energy will live on.
It hurts when we loose someone close to us. There is a hole in hearts that will never be filled by anything else again. Over time we may adjust to living our lives with that hole, but it will always be there. That person will never be in our lives again. But I think it's important, after the grieving and finding closure, to keep living. Never forget that special person, but keep living life to the fullest. Get all you can out of anything and everything. Don't be afraid to be laughed at or get hurt, because then you will get nothing out of life. Love those around you, especially. Your friends are important. Good friends will be there for you to lean on. Try not to live in the past, but in the present. Focus on who is here on this earth to and cherish now because you may not get the chance later.
I recently read an amazing book by John Green titled Looking for Alaska. It made me laugh at the funny parts, and it also made me blink back tears. You could argue that this book was about the whole death/life concept, but once again I chose life. I think it was more about how the life still goes on for the living when a loved one dies. It's hard, but life still goes on. Grieving is good. Finding and having closure is important too. Without giving too much away, this book made me think... a lot. I thought about religion more than I have in a long time, particularly Buddhism. I wondered about if people's essence goes somewhere when it dies, or if we just rot in the ground. I asked my science teacher once if energy can't be created or destroyed, what happens when people die? He said that our bodies become food for maggots and whatever and so we turn into chemical energy. This book also explained that concept, but added to it. If energy can't be destroyed, neither can we. Our body will just take different forms and different shapes, but our energy will live on.
It hurts when we loose someone close to us. There is a hole in hearts that will never be filled by anything else again. Over time we may adjust to living our lives with that hole, but it will always be there. That person will never be in our lives again. But I think it's important, after the grieving and finding closure, to keep living. Never forget that special person, but keep living life to the fullest. Get all you can out of anything and everything. Don't be afraid to be laughed at or get hurt, because then you will get nothing out of life. Love those around you, especially. Your friends are important. Good friends will be there for you to lean on. Try not to live in the past, but in the present. Focus on who is here on this earth to and cherish now because you may not get the chance later.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Vlogging vs. Blogging
I started a vlog on youtube the other day. There isn't much on it. Just a response video I made. It had Penny listening to a song with a lot of weird noises. If you want to ever go watch the blog, feel free. My user name is totallyTUBAular. Here's the link to my channel. CLICK ME
Now, blogging I get. I don't feel stupid when I write or read when I write. And I totally understand that I write not only for others to read, but also for myself and for therapy reasons. The whole video journal thing is different. I suppose you could consider it a therapy, but in a different way then writing. Also, it's a lot of fun, especially when it comes to the overall youtube community. I like watching other people's videos and commenting on them, especially my friends. I might get the same experience out of blogging here on blogger though if I knew more people who had an account.
So feel free to go watch me make a fool of myself. My videos will mostly be my life being told through videos instead of the written word. One thing for sure though, I am not going to ignore my WORDS blog. I don't think I could ever replace writing with something else, not even bubble baths.
Now, blogging I get. I don't feel stupid when I write or read when I write. And I totally understand that I write not only for others to read, but also for myself and for therapy reasons. The whole video journal thing is different. I suppose you could consider it a therapy, but in a different way then writing. Also, it's a lot of fun, especially when it comes to the overall youtube community. I like watching other people's videos and commenting on them, especially my friends. I might get the same experience out of blogging here on blogger though if I knew more people who had an account.
So feel free to go watch me make a fool of myself. My videos will mostly be my life being told through videos instead of the written word. One thing for sure though, I am not going to ignore my WORDS blog. I don't think I could ever replace writing with something else, not even bubble baths.
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