So Many Memories...

There are so many memories swirling around in my head right now.  We used to go on ballooning trips in the tan van.  Papa would drive, and I would sometimes sit right behind him when I didn't feel like being in the "way back."  I remember watching him drop his one hand slowly down to the ground.  Then he'd reach back quickly and grab at my feet.  It would make me giggle and I'd pull my feet up onto my seat so he wouldn't get me.  Then, when I thought it was safe, I'd cafefully place my feet back on the ground only to have them grabed at by him again.

One time after taking Blitzen to the dog park, my car got stuck in the mud.  I called Papa to come and get me.  He was going to help push me out, but before he was ready I pushed down on the excelerator.  My tires spun, and mud went spraying everywhere, including my grandpa's shirt.  The look on his face was great.  It almost said, "I'm trying very hard not to be mad at this" or else he was just trying not to laugh. I'm not sure.   When we got home and grandma saw his shirt she just started laughing.  I brought him chocolate covered peanuts the next day as an I'm sorry/thank you present.

I remember during the flood, we were all at Phyllis and Vern's house out at the lake.  I wanted to sleep with Roxie, so Aaron coaxed her under the covers on the air matrice.  Before Papa went to bed, he came up to me to say goodnight.  Seeing the lump on the bed, he gently put his foot down on it.  I think he must have thought it was my feet.  He was pretty surprised when Roxie came out of one of the covers and walked off into the next room.

Aaron and I were sitting at your kitchen table on aftertoon.  And he came and sat down and joined us.  Out of nowhere my grandfather takes his teeth out of his pocket and puts them back in his mouth.  This caught me by surprise and I thought it was so funny so I started laughing.  Papa was really confused, but Aaron started laughing at me for laughing so hard.  Evenutally you figured out what I was laughing at and shrugged, "It makes the food taste better."

I'm even thinking about the time I got into a fight with my mom and locked myself in my room.  My mom called my grandparents, and they came over pretty quick.  My grandfather put the fear of god in me that day.  He was good at that when I was in trouble.  The look he gave me was enough.  He pryed open my bedroom door with a butter knife and then I got a long talking to.

I went into this basement yesterday and found the doll house I was working on.  I wanted to put it together myself, but he kept going down there and touching the thing.  He even broke it once or twice, but he was nice enough to put it back together.  When I went down there and saw he had glued a couple of the roof shingles on, I was so mad.  I didn't have enough of the shingles that came in the box because I had lost them over time.  I was going to go to Michael's and find something else to use instead.  Even though I was going to take those shingles he glued on there off, I don't think I can now.  They won't match the rest of the roof, but I don't think I care.

He was the greatest man I've ever known, and even though I'm thankful for the time I had to know him, I wanted it to be longer.  There are so many moments that will happen in the future that I'll want him to be there with me.  I got asked to describe my papa in one word, but I can't do that.  There are too many great words that make up who he is: strong, faithful, dependable, kind, funny, and the best damn grandpa anyone could ask for.

Gotta Catch 'Em All

So here's my post about Pokemon, a franchise that took over a large portion of my childhood- more specific forth and fifth grade.  Back then I was only interested in the cards and the television show; I never had a game boy.  Bulbasaur was the first card I ever got.  To this day he is still one of my favorites.

When I was younger, I always wanted the cute Pokemon cards- Jigglypuff, Vulpix, or Togepi.  We never actually played the card game.  At least not by the rules anyway.  We'd compare HP, attacks, and rareity and decide who won from there.  We were more interested in trading the cards for the ones we thought were the best looking.

I think the television show is what sucked us into it.  At the time, I didn't have WB, the station that played Pokemon every day at three.  But I found ways around that.  I'd watch the videos or try to end up at my grandma's at three o'clock if we didn't have school that day.  We'd also play make believe.  I was always Misty, my favorite human character on the show... well maybe besides Sabrina.  We made a rule that if your character had a Pokemon, you had to have the card for it.  We'd pretend the cards were our Pokeballs.

Now, I'm still a little obsessed with Pokemon.  Since I got my 3DS, I've put more time into Pokemon Black than any other game.  Every once in a while a need to collect the cards come back to me too.  I have all the orginal 150 except for one card, which unfortunatly is Charizard.  I used to have that card, a holo too.  But I traded it like an idiot.  I patiently await the next game to come out, so I can finally play Pokemon in 3D, but untill then I'll try to catch 'em all in Pokemon black.

Drowning

I was originally going to write about Pokemon today, but I read a friend's blog earlier that made me change my mind.  This may be kind of a depressing post, and maybe it is best saved for a private journal or something.  But let's be honest here, I'm not going to be pulling out the journals any time soon.

Things seem like they're piling up, like I'm drowning in a list of to-dos.  And the truth is, I'm not really.  All I do is go to work and then come home and play video games... or worse yet just go to bed.  It seems like everybody's always busy, so I don't have much of a social life.  And I guess that's slowly changing.  Dalton and I have been hanging out more, and Sarah's on spring break.  I think that's this week at least.  But every day it's "I should clean my house" or "I really need to clean my car" or even "I should work on my story that should have been done months ago."

These things just keep building up and I just can't find the energy or motivation to do them.  My anxiety's been through the roof lately too.  Sometimes there are reasons for it, even if they're silly.  Every time I go to work I feel like I'm going to get fired, even though I show up on time and try my hardest at my job.  I'm paranoid about almost everything lately, most of them are too personal to share.  But sometimes I'm just nervous for absolutly no reason at all.  And maybe I'm nervous about things and just can't remember what was said to make me nervous.  I don't know.

So basically the question is, how do I get over this?  How can I make myself come to my senses?  Most of this is just in my head, right?  So why is it so hard to just suck it up and grab life by the horns?  Why is it so hard to pick up the phone and call someone to hang out or even just do a load of laundry?